Does a narcissist always come back? (2023)

Will a narcissist ever come back to you?

Do Narcissists Come Back to Relationships? Yes, they often do come back to relationships. A narcissist will repeat their cycle of abuse as long as they need you as a supply. Even their distressing discard performance will leave you in a firm belief they're done with you; a narcissist will come back.

According to Dr. Darlene Lancer, many narcissists can only sustain a relationship for six months to a few years (at the most). Keep in mind, though, we're talking about one four-stage cycle. Too often, a narcissist will initiate the cycle again, training their target to expect them to come back.

Narcissists come back to old relationships because they seek validation, which they had clearly received previously. This validation boosts their confidence and ego and makes them feel like they're king of the world again. They also know they can control the relationship through manipulative tactics.

In most cases, the narcissist will come back at you immediately after you put in place the no contact rule. Considering how important their ego is to them and how they need that constant attention from their partner, they would come for you immediately.

So yes, narcissists can miss you in the sense that they feel bad when an emotional need isn't being met when you're not around and thus they want you back in their life. They need someone to boost their ego and make them feel good about themselves.

Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.

It's true: Your narcissistic ex will remember you but not — never — in the way you hope they will, as the “great love of their life”. Most of the time they won't even think about you and you know why: They're too busy spinning their web to snare the next unsuspecting spider.

You point out all their flaws and deflecting onto you is exhausting for the narcissist, so they give up. The discard is permanent because you don't allow them to use their narcissist tactics on you. So now that the narcissist is finally out of your life, now is the time to not allow them back in.

MD. At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.

How do you beat a narcissist game?

Don't React to Their Abusive Tactics

Your reaction is exactly what they want. So, don't accept the narcissist's gaslighting phrases as your truth. They will try everything to demean and discredit you. Practice positive affirmations to undue blame and maintain healthy self-esteem.

People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.

As a general rule, narcissists don't miss or love their exes — but they'll work hard to convince you that they do. Ultimately, people with NPD are incapable of genuinely missing anybody.

Do narcissists regret discarding or losing someone? It is common for people with a narcissistic personality disorder to regret discarding or losing someone, but it does not mean what you might think. If they feel regret, it is not because they hurt you. It is for losing something that they value.

What is this? Unfortunately, this phase does not last long since it is difficult for them to keep their mask in place. Keep in mind that it might not be tomorrow, but they most likely will resurface at some point, even a year or two later.

Within the definition of narcissism is a lack of remorse, empathy or forgiveness. Narcissists have a fantasy view of themselves where they are all powerful, knowing, beautiful, and influential. Even when the reality might prove otherwise, their distorted perception of self greatly contributes to egocentric behavior.

When a narcissistic person doesn't get a constant supply of validation or someone injures their self-esteem, their confident and superior facade can collapse. A narcissistic collapse may happen because others don't see the person like they want to be seen, for example.

Emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse or sexual coercion should never be tolerated, and is always grounds for leaving a relationship. Here's when to break up with a narcissist: You're being physically abused. You're being sexual abused or coerced.

When a narcissist is exposed or when the narcissist knows you have figured him out, they will never admit the truth even if it is staring them in the face. A narcissist will lay several false accusations and try to make him right. They will say things you didn't utter and misinterpret all your intentions.

How do narcissists treat their partners?

Narcissistic partners act as if they are always right, that they know better and that their partner is wrong or incompetent. This often leaves the other person in the relationship either angry and trying to defend themselves or identifying with this negative self-image and feeling badly about themselves.

By remaining friends with their exes, narcissists get to keep all of their former partners on a carousel of convenience: they can create a harem of people to use for sex, money, praise, attention or whatever else they desire, at any time.

Empaths are drawn to narcissists, and narcissists love taking advantage: "Since narcissists rely on exclusive focus and attention, an empathic person would naturally appeal to them," explains Dorfman.

The cerebral cortex has also been found to be less developed in narcissists and this area is responsible for memory, emotions and behaviour. Therefore the narcissist seems to move on so fast because their emotions are not as deep as ours but also, they don't form memories in the same way the rest of us do.

They will lash out – narcissists thrive on using others as a source to make them feel important. If you ignore them and deny them of their source, they may become enraged. They will essentially have a tantrum and throw insults and threats at you.

Hence, it is clear that a narcissist rebound relationship may last only a few months. Some break up after a short fling of two to three weeks, while others end the relationship after the sweet initial phase ends in just a few months.

Narcissists deal with loss and grief just like anyone else. Their emotions and loss responses are sometimes a bit more complex, but suffering still affects them and disrupts their lives and schedules like everyone else's.

Breakups with narcissists don't always end the relationship. Many won't let you go, even when they are the ones who left the relationship, and even when they're with a new partner. They won't accept “no.” They hoover in an attempt to rekindle the relationship or stay friends after a breakup or divorce.

The narcissist is unable to feel love, affection, or genuine care for anyone but themselves. If they claim to be feeling grief, what they are actually feeling is the loss of attention, catering, and focus on them. The victim was not just alone in the relationship; they are now alone in their grief.

A monumental weakness in the narcissist is the failure to look internally and flesh out what needs to be worked on. Then, of course, the next step is to spend time improving. The narcissist sabotages any possibility of looking deep within.

What is the best way to outsmart a narcissist?

Illnesses, aging, and job losses or promotions can act as triggers for the narcissist to suddenly abandon the relationship.

Show them you're a prize.

To keep them hooked, remind the narcissist that you're high value. Maybe you have a high-status job, a large social circle, or a talent that makes you sought after. If they're always thinking what a catch you are, they'll be obsessed with keeping you.

Can a Narcissist be Obsessed With Someone? Yes, but for the wrong reasons. The one and only way a narcissist is going to get obsessed with someone is if they can't hook them. It won't be because they think the individual is so awesome and they want to be around them all the time.

What is this? To make a narcissist feel guilty about their actions or mistakes, they need to know that there are consequences. Let the narcissist know that you won't tolerate their actions and that you're willing to walk away from the relationship if it continues.

Narcissists can never really love anyone.

That's why it's important to remember that no matter how happy and loved-up they look with their new partner, it's only a matter of time before they start being belittled and insulted too. Narcissists can never really love anyone.

Some common games someone with narcissistic personality disorder might engage in include: blame shifting. deception. gaslighting.

Do narcissist care if you move on?

They're utterly delusional in believing that you couldn't possibly want to be with anyone else because there is no one better than them. Because you've moved on to someone new, your new partner serves as a constant reminder that they were not good enough for you, so they'll launch an attack against them.

There are early sometimes subtle signs the narcissist may be finished with you and more obvious absolute signals. The narcissist often ignores what you say almost as if you never spoke. The narcissist stops texting back to you or delays for days. The narcissist does not make eye contact with you.

Begin any discussion with a compliment, flattery, or praise in order to get the narcissist's attention. To keep their attention, listen endlessly. This might be hard when narcissists repeat themselves, which they will hardly be aware of.

MD. At the end of a relationship, a narcissist will often spiral down a long-winded gauntlet of manipulation tactics. They may blame you for causing the relationship to fail, work hard to keep you to stay with them, make lofty promises to change their behavior, or badmouth you to everyone around them.

Feeling desperate for the pain to stop, panic about never ending loneliness and doubt about leaving are common. You might find yourself caught in the compulsive mental replay of the injustice you endured.

Narcissistic collapse happens when someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can no longer uphold their grandiose, confident image. When this occurs, they feel profoundly threatened. As a result, they tend to become enraged, resulting in impulsive behavior, intense lashing out, or hurting other people.

8 Triggers of a Narcissist's Rage

They feel that they've been criticized, even if the critique is constructive or said kindly. They're not the center of attention. They're caught breaking rules or not respecting boundaries. They're held accountable for their actions.

5. Mental breakdown or psychotic break. Narcissistic personality disorder collapse is terrifying for both the person involved and those around them. They don't know what to believe anymore so much so that they can become suicidal or start hallucinating.

The fact that a narcissist doesn't “miss” us like a normal person would miss someone they split up with is because he doesn't miss anybody. The reason that he doesn't miss anybody is because he sees every single person in his life on the same emotional level.

People with high levels of narcissistic admiration experienced less anxiety and sadness after a breakup and maintained positive perceptions of their exes. They were also more likely to initiate a breakup and attribute it to their lack of interest in their ex.

What kind of person ends up with a narcissist?

People who are impressive in some way, either in their career, hobbies and talents, their friendship circles, or family. Someone who will make the narcissist feel good about themselves, through compliments or gestures. Anyone who will reflect well on them in the eyes of other people.